makeup free, Monday

Makeup Free Monday – Take that Anxiety!

**⚠️ Raw Post** Makeup free Monday! Before I embarked on this journey to self love and a healthier happier version of me YOU WOULD NOT catch me without mascara on, usually foundation and gloss too BARE MINIMUM… most days it was full face makeup from morning to night, it was so important to me to not be seen without my makeup that I would do it while driving even 😱 or before I would get out of bed when staying with friends or with house guests, before leaving the tent in the morning while camping…I didn’t want anyone to actually see ME. Now don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE makeup and using it and getting all dolled up, probably more than the next gal 😉 BUT I wasn’t using it to get “dolled up” or even to get ready for the day…I was using it as a mask, to cover years of acne, internal anxiety and depression and a whole heck of a lot of self doubt and loathing. My plan was to present a put together sunny face so people wouldn’t be tempted to look too much deeper and see all the jagged, broken, not so pretty pieces inside 💔 And it was working pretty well at keeping people at bay, even the people closest to me had no idea what I was struggling with, and for some of them this may be the first time they learn of it. But anxiety and depression had their claws in me and there were days I wouldn’t even look in mirrors, I literally would brag about being able to do my makeup without looking in a mirror but the only reason I knew how to do that was because I hated looking at myself so much that I would refuse to do it, but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my “mask” of makeup so I learned how to do it without my reflection, because I couldn’t trust my refection, it had led me astray before and I just knew it was lying to me every time I thought I looked okay or had a semi-positive thought about myself.
There are so many reasons I thought I was broken, unworthy, “ugly” and most of them start from my earliest memories of being teased at school and have been “compound fractures” of my self esteem through years of anxiety and people pleasing… BTW if you haven’t figured it out yet, you can’t find self worth in pleasing others 😉 If someone could have shared that with me 20 years ago my journey would look a lot different. Self worth comes from exactly where it says it does, yourself! And you get there by working on YOU not by pleasing others, over achieving or “looking” put together. You get there by shining light on the broken, dark and HARD as fuck to look at crap in your baggage and calling it out and taking its power away! You get there by finding a way to love yourself in spite of and even in thanks to, your struggles and pain. You get there by recognizing you want more for yourself and being willing to work hard to get it! These are not easy things, and in some cases they feel downright impossible BUT I promise you that once you decide you are worth it, once YOU DECIDE to find a way to work towards healing your wounds, once YOU DECIDE to own all your pieces, broken or whole, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF and that true self is beautiful with broken edges that have been soldered back together and jagged pieces that are sharp but stunning when the sunlight hits them, like a stained glass window made of a thousand tiny pieces all different shapes and sizes, imagine if you blacked out and covered half the picture, you would be depriving people of its true beauty! That is YOU, a thousand shapes and colors and sizes and when you let the light shine into all of them you are a stunning piece of art worthy of affection and love and don’t deprive the world of your unique beauty!
So today is makeup free Monday in my house and I am stepping out and sharing my bare skin, no mascara, no mask…just me because anxiety and depression are some of my jagged pieces but I’m taking back the power and shining the light on them and honestly, when I started this “weight loss journey” I never would have imagined the biggest transformation would be in my mind… I don’t hate my reflection, I actually am pretty proud of who I am and even what I look like, and those are words I NEVER thought I would speak, let alone without makeup on 😉 So don’t let the world break you down and tell you how to look and feel, own your pain, your struggles and your demons because they are part of your story, they are part of you, and you are enough, you are amazing, and you deserve your very best life…don’t waste this short time we have hiding who you are, step into the light and be unapologetically YOU, life is too short to live it trying to meet someone else’s standards. Don’t waste your precious time, spend it learning to love yourself for all that you are and go after all that you want for yourself because you can be and do anything when you are wholeheartedly yourself ❤❤❤❤

Advertisements
power of positive thinking

The Power of Positive Thinking, The Will to Change Your Life

So many people are pigeonholed into careers and roles that they never feel truly passionate about and they feel angst and regret for the life they should have lived or could have lived.

I want to send a message to our youth to our children and to our current working force women and men that YOU ARE MORE THAN!  You are worth more, you were made for more… I am not talking about mothers and fathers being unhappy in their domestic roles or about the workforce being undriven in their current positions.

DRIVE IS NOT THE SAME AS PURPOSE

I am talking about being COMPLACENT to accept their career, their ladder to success, their daily monotony… Even the most successful business women and men are NOT walking in their purpose, do NOT feel a fire in their hearts and are NOT fulfilled in their invested time at work.

They go to work. They come home. They often even work once they are at home. But they NEVER feel at peace. No matter how high they climb or how hard they try, or how many promotions they get… something is ALWAYS MISSING.

WHY you ask?!?

WHY would I make such a bold statement? How dare I?

Well just ASK THEM. Or better yet, ask yourself:

What is the desire of my heart?

What was I created to do?

When do I feel the most alive?

NOW ask :

Am I fulfilling that desire?

Am I using that gift to do what I was created to do?

Am I impacting the world in a positive way?

Am I fulfilled?

What was your answer?  Do you want to answer yes to all those big life questions?

What if I told you, YOU CAN!  You can live out your HIGHEST purpose in this world and still make lots of money, or have personal success or emotional happiness.  You do not have to choose between being successful and being happy. You can have it all. Seriously I am not pulling your chain, I’ve been there.

Actually I’ve been in all of the roles imaginable, I am a mom and wife and I’ve stayed home while my hubby worked, I’ve worked part time, full time, I’ve been completely broke, had immense business success and had great financial gain, I’ve been restless and  lost and had small to large regrets, I’ve been walked on, passed up and even unknown by my boss who I’ve centered my world around.

  One day I asked myself “what kind of example am I setting for my kids if I let them see me like this?”

Like a deflated balloon someone is dragging around by the string!?!

What message does that send them?

So I decided NO MORE Mrs. Nice Girl. No more pulling my string. No more regrets, no more excuses.  I DECIDED to take the reigns and put all the positive energy I could muster out into the universe (the universe=Gods plan=fate=whatever you believe insert it here), into every single aspect of my life.  Into every person I meet, every hater I encounter, every obstacle I cross and every thing I do, I do it with POSITIVITY.  Do you know what happens when you put positivity into the universe?

Positivity comes back to you, 10 fold, 20 fold, Hell I don’t even know how much but a heck of a lot of positivity!

In the form of personal growth, financial gain, self confidence, self love, marital bliss, parenting success, emotional stability, relational peace… you name it, you will receive it. All by putting your very best positive foot forward in this world.

  Do you struggle with where to start?  How to be postitive?  Well I have a few tried and true tips for you! Follow these simple steps to get started, and see your life change before your eyes!

  1. Meet EVERYONE with a smile, not just those who deserve a smile, not just those who smile at you, but everyone you encounter
  2. Don’t allow others to dictate your actions or feelings, you are not a balloon on a string, do not act like it
  3. Choose your battles, I mean really choose them… Is it worth it to win the arguement about who left the dishes in the sink, when it means fighting for an hour about everything in between?  Probably not, you know what you could do with that hour?  Take 2 minutes and rinse the stupid dishes, politely ask whoever you think left them there to try and not do it in the future, then spend the rest of the 57 or so minutes talking about positive things going on in your life, connecting and conversing – building a relationship and meeting the world with positivity
  4. Don’t say things you don’t want repeated
  5. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.  Seems pretty basic right?  But it is probably one of the hardest things to really do…Even in frustration, in total stress-dom, speak in kindness, speak criticism from a place of love and safety…believe me you and they will be much happier
  6. Stand up for others
  7. Take time for yourself EVERY DAY – a minimum of 10 minutes, totally for yourself…not locking yourself in the bathroom and playing a game on your phone, but turning off the world for 10 whole minutes and focus on your goals with total and complete positivity
  8. Put what you want into the universe, and the universe will deliver it…speak your goals out loud, say them to someone, make them real and known and present
  9. Lastly and most importantly BE KIND – above all else treat everyone with kindnessSounds easy enough right? You cannot achieve your purpose and greatness if you do not own your drive and dream – the universe simply CANNOT give you the desires of your heart if you do not give them to the universe!

So what are you waiting for?  Your mind is a powerful force, when you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change… go change your life.